The Thin Lines of Respect and Pity

This topic is outside my lane, because I never make the assumption that I can somehow relate to Veterans of the military, particularly Veterans who have served in a war zone - and everything that goes with that. However, this email was also well written and reflects a particular point of view that I have heard from others. Food for thought from the Inbox:

One thing that concerns me... is that our military may become a charity case. It is a very volatile topic and can quickly offend everyone in the room.

The yellow ribbons during and after the Gulf War were the symbol of a country that was sorry for the way it treated its Vietnam Veterans. The love for the military has grown and grown. It is a great thing. I love that random people will go out of their way to come over to me in Subway while I am at lunch, say thank you for serving, smile, shake my hand and walk away. I never take it for granted. It is fantastic. It is something that previous generations were not lucky enough to enjoy.

What concerns me, and prompted me to write, is when the military is held up as a group that needs protecting. American support for the military has swung to the other end of the spectrum from Vietnam. Tonight I saw a commercial for the Wounded Warrior Project; a fantastic effort with a noble goal. However, what immediately elicted a gut response was the plea for support to "protect our Warriors" and that your "small monthy contribution can help our Warriors." My first thought was the Christian Children's Fund. Are our veterans the same as a starving child in Africa? Men and women trained to fight at the highest level of skill are now likened to defenseless children.

This bothers me because it is incredibly embarrassing that these men and women aren't getting the support then need. We, as a military, can provide for our own. Wounded Warrior did the right thing and stepped in to fill a need. The fact that the organization is even necessary, and I firmly believe that it is, is a black eye for America. If we were handling our own affairs, there would be no Wounded Warrior. That said, it is a fine line between support born of respect and support born of pity. The commercial I saw tonight made me pity our Warriors and not respect them. That was the message I took away.

I have been fortunate enough to not be injured. I have never had to face that personal hell and I thank God for that. I do not know how hard that road is. What I do know, is that not a single Warrior wants pity. They want respect, gratitude, and help when they need it from the country and people they sacrificed for.

I fear the trend's direction and dread the day that a man approaches me in Subway, puts his hand on my shoulder, and tells me, "Don't worry Son. You will be okay." and puts a $20 in my hand. That will be the first day I am ashamed to wear my uniform. If it gets to that point, and it quite possibly will, I would rather have someone spit on me. Isn't that ironic?

A few thoughts. First, there may also be a measure of knowing ones audience in regards to the Wounded Warrior Project. I have seen the same commercial being referred to, and I did not see it the same way. The appeal for assistance strikes to a motivation of charity, nationalism, and patriotism - and in that regard it targets civilians, not Veterans. Often a message can have different meaning depending upon the audience, and it is very possible that organizations that support Veterans can send mixed messages.

I think the bigger question is whether or not military Veterans are carrying a perception that might be described as a stigma after a decade of war. This is a tougher question, I think, and I'm not sure I know the answer. I do know that the current group of Veterans who have come back from fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan have had a harder time than the rest of America finding work in the private sector. Unemployment among veterans who have served since the 9/11 attacks stood at 12.1 percent in October of 2011, a rise from 11.7 percent in September 2011 and much higher than the national jobless rate last month of 9.0 percent. The only reason I know that though is because it is a political talking point of the President's job bill, which may or may not be how awareness for such issues should be disseminated.

It is an interesting topic, but I'm no authority. I am curious what others think.